Today, I got the first present I got for Christmas this year. I got excited so I decided to open it already. Guess what I got for Christmas from my really wealthy uncle and aunt?

assorted nuts.

FML.

HAHA Wow! This could pass off as an FML story:p

I easily get attached to people and I’m scared that, when they leave, I’m gonna be broken and it’s gonna be hard to put me back together. I’m afraid that, if I give my heart and soul and everything to someone, I’m gonna end up giving up everything and ending up with nothing. I try to keep to myself, try to hold back when I’m with some friends…I don’t mean to be cold sometimes, but I’m just scared that people are gonna leave and I’m gonna have no one.

I finally know why I always feel depressed when I’m at home at night. There’s no one to hold my hand or give me a hug. There’s a huge difference between talking into a phone and actually talking to someone. I get homesick even though I’m at home, safe in my bed…then I realized, being at home doesn’t always make you feel at home. It’s the warmth you feel; feeling safe when there’s nothing to fear in the first place.

I think a lot, even when I don’t want to. My teacher said that the hardest thing to do is to think, but I beg to differ; the hardest thing to do is not to think. When you think about nothing, you’re actually subconsciously thinking about something. I never stop thinking. The reason why I need to listen to music when I’m in bed is so I can focus on the music and not on my thoughts and eventually just fall asleep.

I’m sorry, I’m rambling again. I never stop talking either HAHA

blogsecret:

When you say that to someone, they just automatically think that you’re scared of coming out of the closet, or you’re bisexual or something. But I’m not. I’m moreover open to interpretation, where I won’t restrict myself from falling for someone of the same sex, but I’m really attracted to guys. But when you stick up for boys who like boys or girls who like girls, then people just assume you are or something. It doesn’t bother me if boys like boys or girls like girls; love don’t discriminate. Then why should you? It just bothers me that some people just can’t accept it. And you should think, what if a girl liking a boy was socially unaccepted?

Then, I guess I’d be unaccepted forever.

you’re not alone:) i super agree. my friends from school assume that I’m either a lesbian or at least bisexual because I’m too open to these kinds of things, but I’m not. I’m straight (with lesbian tendencies maybe?) I mean, I find myself being attracted to girls too, but they’re just mere admiration. (I’m pretty sure I’d rather be with a guy though haha!!)

1. a 48 box of crayons and some coloring books

2. gummybears. yes, they HAVE to be bears.

3. a new phone maybe? my phone’s really ancient. been using it for almost 5 years.

4. really really colorful bracelets!!

5. PARTY.PARTY.PARTY!!!

I want to be with my family and friends this Christmas:)

I feel good about myself:)

I like having the attention…even though I’m getting them for the wrong reasons. I missed the attention…it’s been months. I deserve to feel good about myself, right?